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User blog:Ponyo Fan/SBFW Battle Royale: Episode 1
Every two years, 20 members from a wiki are chosen to battle to the death in a no-holds-barred match...this is'' SBFW Battle Royale.'' Members *Ponyo *Lazaro *Jellyfish *Travis *JCM *Teleram *Science *Dave *KaRRot *Summer *William *Maureen *Da Nerd *Momjosh *Topher *Doctor Bugs *ChrisGriffinxX *Kidboy *RamDarre *Chagnew (dun dun dun) Transcript *'PONYO FAN PRESENTS' *'A PONYO FAN PRODUCTION' *''Episode opens with a montage of various members (Jellyfish, Lazaro, Ponyo, etc.) going to their mailboxes and finding an envelope inside. Once they find the envelope, we all see them get sucked into the envelope, seemingly teleported. We then see them all awaken in a dark room with a TV.'' *'Ponyo': What the...what's going on? *'Lazaro': Ponyo? *'Ponyo': Laz? *'Jellyfish': Laz? *'Lazaro': Jellyfish? *'Travis': Travis! *'Ponyo': Shut up! *'Travis': Sorry. *'JCM': Does anyone know where we are? *'Teleram': Beats me. *'Chagnew': Who are you guys? *'Ponyo': Who's there? *'Chagnew': I'm Chaz Agnew. *'Ponyo': You mean...Chagnew? *''Ponyo grabs Chagnew by the shirt.'' *'Ponyo': WHERE'S THE RED MIST DOCUMENTARY YOU PROMISED US THREE YEARS AGO, YOU SON OF A BITCH? *'Chagnew': You're hurting me! *'Man Standing at Door': Please, wiki members. There is no need for violence. At least, not yet. *''Ponyo drops Chagnew. Everyone turns around to stare at the Asian man standing at the doorway.'' *'Asian Man': Welcome to Wiki Battle Royale, SpongeBob Fanon Wiki members! I'm glad you all got my envelope. *'Da Nerd': What the h''bleepck is this all about? *'Asian Man': Well...you know how sometimes wiki members...''disappear...? *'Ponyo': Hmm? Yeah, I have noticed that. *'Asian Man': Well, every two years, twenty members from a random wiki are chosen to fight to the death until there is one left. *'Ponyo': Oh, that explains it. (realizing what's being said to her) Wait, what?! *'JCM': You mean we're gonna have to kill each other? *'Momjosh': I'm scared. *'Topher': There's no way this is real. Our parents... *'Asian Man': Your parents think you're still at home. Right now, outside of the Battle Royale, time is frozen. The one of you who wins will get to return to reality as if nothing happened. *'Doctor Bugs': So...there can only be one of us? *'Lazaro': What about like, in The Hunger Games, where the couple won by almost killing themselves for love? What if someone does that? *'Asian Man': We've got that loophole covered. I suppose you've all noticed the collars on your necks? *'Kidboy': Collars? *''Everyone in the room looks at their neck, finding that, yep, there's a collar on their neck.'' *'Chagnew': What the hell? *'Asian Man': These collars have multiple purposes. For one thing, we can see what you're doing and where you're doing it at all times with these collars. If we find that you've been inactive for too long, my assistants and I will take a vote. If we decide you die, then your collar explodes and you die a very gruesome, unexpected death. *''Asian man turns on the TV and shows them a clip of a man from Club Penguin Wiki who was sleeping during one of the previous games, and suddenly his collar goes off. He explodes into a fountain of blood. Everyone in the room gasps in horror. Travis throws up.'' *'Asian Man': Also, if there's not one of you left by the end of the three days, then we send a signal to everyone remaining's collars and they all suffer! No one wins! However, this is a very rare occurrence in the games, and has only happened once. *'JCM': Where are we? *'Asian Man': Right now you're inside my private base. When I let you all out you'll be on a deserted island. No cell phone signal, no Wi-Fi, no nothing. Of course, if you win we'll give you some luxuries. *'Science': What kind of luxuries? *'Asian Man': How does $100,000 sound? *'Doctor Bugs': Sounds pretty frickin' awesome. *'Asian Man': Good. Then win. *'Travis': This is bull-poop. I'm out of here. *''Travis begins to walk out the door, but is stopped by the Asian man's assistants.'' *'Asian Man': I'm afraid you can't do that, Travis name bleeped. *''The Asian man presses a button and a signal is sent to Travis' collar. It begins to beep and Travis screams in horror.'' *'Travis': No, I'm sorry! No, no, no, no...no! *''We hear the collar go off and it is implied off-screen Travis has exploded. We see blood splatter onto some of the members. Momjosh briefly faints before Dave picks him up.'' *'Momjosh': Thanks. *'Dave': Any time. *'Asian Man': (looking at the offscreen bloody body parts) Such a shame what had to happen to Travis. He had potential. Any more questions? *''Ponyo raises her hand.'' *'Asian Man': Yes. *'Ponyo': Do we have to find our own food, water, stuff like that? *'Asian Man': We've got that covered, little lady. As you leave you'll be given a bag with the bare minimum of essentials; some bread and three days' worth of water. If you want meat you'll have to hunt for it. We've also given each of you a weapon. Some of you have great weapons, some of you...not so great. Any more questions? *''The room is silent.'' *'Asian Man': No? Then you may get your stuff and get out of here! Assistants will call you by screenname to get your stuff. *'Assistant #1': Chagnew! *''Assistant throws bag at Chagnew, who then exits.'' *'Assistant #2': ChrisGriffinXx! *''Assistant throws bag at Chris, who then exits.'' *''The same routine continues for the rest of the members as they all exit.'' *'Asian Man': The alarm to start the games will go off in three minutes. No killing until the alarm! Talk among yourselves and go through your bags for now. Good luck! *''Asian man closes the door behind him.'' *''Lazaro opens his bag. He has an AK-47 as a weapon.'' *'Lazaro': Aw, hell yeah! *''Ponyo opens her bag. She has a butcher knife.'' *'Ponyo': Not great for distance, but it still works. *''Da Nerd opens his bag. Inside is a rock.'' *'Da Nerd': What the h''bleepck? *'William': Wow, DN, that sucks. ''(laughs) *'Da Nerd': It's not funny! What am I going to do with a rock? Islands are full of rocks. I could just get one off of there! *''Science opens his bag. Inside is a bow and arrow.'' *'Science': Never used one of these before, but it's worth a shot. No pun intended. *''Chagnew opens his bag. Inside is a flamethrower.'' *'Chagnew': Yes! *''Chagnew jokingly points flamethrower at Ponyo.'' *'Chagnew': The red mist is coming. *'Ponyo': That's not funny, you dick! *''Momjosh is cowering in the corner in fear. His weapon is an assault rifle. Da Nerd goes up to him.'' *'Da Nerd': Um...Momjosh? *'Momjosh': Y-yes? *'Da Nerd': Are you gonna use that weapon? *'Momjosh': N-no, it's too loud...do not want, I do not need it... *'Da Nerd': So, can we trade? Rocks don't make loud sounds. *'Momjosh': O-okay. Just d-don't hurt me with it. *''Da Nerd trades rock for assault rifle and smirks as he walks off.'' *'Da Nerd': (mutters) No promises. *'Asian Man': loudspeaker SpongeBob Fanon Wiki! The games begin in 20 seconds! Get ready! *''Asian man counts down the numbers as shots of the members' faces and loading of weapons are shown.'' *'Asian Man': 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...GO! *'Title card: "TO BE CONTINUED"' *''-end-'' Category:Blog posts Category:Ponyo Fan Category:SBFW Battle Royale